amatonormativity (2022/23)

Amatonormativity is a term coined by scholar Elizabeth Brake, meaning “the widespread assumption that everyone is better off in an exclusive, romantic, long-term coupled relationship, and that everyone is seeking such a relationship*”. Given that this idea pervades Western society and media, given the association of romance with personal fulfillment, those who identify as asexual or aromantic often feel pressured, excluded, or less than human. Or sometimes… simply weirded out.

Many words in the English lexicon carry plural meanings: the ‘dictionary’ definitions and the sensually-charged colloquial ones. Over time, many phrases became loaded with romantic or even sexual connotations by allosexual and alloromantic communities.

This is the contortion of my asexual lips reading a list of terms aloud, forming different shapes based on each context.

*definition (and more information) at https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/